The BMW 7 Series, like everything that came out of Germany since its unification in 1871, is completely serious. It doesn’t matter that its enormous grille has been accused of trying to please Chinese sensibilities – it is, after all, its largest market – nor that its front headlights divided into two levels have been criticized, nor that its rear doors are operated with screens tactile.
It doesn’t matter that the new 7 Series has a 32-inch television for the rear seats, which are soft, completely reclining and from which you can make the cabin completely dark to take a reinvigorating nap.
This means disabling the interior rear-view mirror, but when you acquire the status that allows you to drive the flagship of the Bavarian Motor Factory, again, totally seriously, your rest matters more than seeing who is behind. Because you already know: everyone is behind you.
The term Flagship is used too lightly, but in this case, it is worthy of every one of its morphemes. It is huge, rigid and isolates you from the outside world as if it were an ocean liner. Simply maneuvering with it already gives you a feeling of power, of having achieved a memorable feat.
In many ways, doing it so easily when it comes to a 5.4 meter, 2.2 ton car is quite a feat.
But before we hang our hats, those who must be crowned are the German engineers who, at least in this generation of the holy trinity of large premium sedans, have managed to do something truly special. They were completely serious.
So seriously that no matter what engine you choose, “it will always be a Series 7” they say from Bavaria. I drove the entry-level version, the 3.0-liter, six-cylinder in-line diesel, a motor that the European Commission has declared war on and thatIt’s a testament to why the M in BMW stands for “Engines”.
The other options are all labeled Zero. There are plug-in hybrid versions capable of propelling 2,500 kilos to 100 km/h in 4.3 seconds and – as long as they are loaded – consume one liter of gasoline every 100 kilometers.
The electric one does something similar but even more impressive: it shoots 2,770 kilos of mass up to 100 km/h in 3.7 seconds. Truly, the choice for CEO is aware of rising sea levels, but he doesn’t want to give up on being on time.